Columbia, SC – When you are in need of another opinion or just an ear, when you are in need of some type of validation, when you feel you need someone to help you feel more “normal” in this abnormal world who do you call? But why? Why do we want to call someone that has no personal invested interest in you as a person,… and then pay them? What is a therapist really? Are these people gifted? Are they religiously unbiased? But don’t forget there are always free sources; friends, family, ministers and even websites, MarriageSofa, etc.
I have found that most marriage therapists are either divorced or engaged, yet they can help you with your marriage? You have been trying for years to find the answers that have been plaguing you and your spouse. And in the end you want to rely on someone to give you that magic answer. If seeking a therapist is imperative it would be in your best interest to ask the therapist if they are married. They would obviously advised against this if they are single or divorced. Would your therapist hire an intern to operate on their body? Of course not. But why not? The intern was successful in school. The intern has all of the required knowledge to perform this operation. But in the end most of us would want someone that has the knowledge and experience. Who or what warrants the therapist impunity? I find it offensive that a marriage counselor or therapist would get offended by this, “are you married?” question.
Some therapists start off as undecided or may study some sort of literary degree hoping to at least get a basic 2-4 year degree at best, but some are lucky to finish with some sort of bottom degree with very little math just to have a 4 year degree. This degree is usually sought after and will not be suitable for making a decent living but will assure you an easy in and out the door degree. And the undergraduate degree is usually not related to any type of psychology or therapeutic field. So the second pertinent and appropriate question to ask a therapist is, “What was your undergrad?” Find out at what point did they feel the psychology field was their “calling.” Their undergrad studies should tell you a lot about them or at least where their head was from the beginning of their scholastic venture.
Why would a therapist recommend a book? Why would a therapist separate a married couple to fix their marital issues. I do think it’s appropriate when that’s the only way of getting deeply hidden information, but now your therapist is in the position to have control over your marriage. You’ve just released your car keys to a stranger that studied communications in college, with a 2.5 GPA.